


Dream Team

by DwarvenBeardSpores



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Claustrophobia, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Episode 131: Building Friendships, Episode Related, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hugs, Late Night Conversations, Magic, Panic Attacks, Platonic Cuddling, Sleeping Together, takes place during
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 01:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21235967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DwarvenBeardSpores/pseuds/DwarvenBeardSpores
Summary: Azu cannot sleep. Neither can Hamid.Even after a week of close confinement, it’s better for them to be together.





	Dream Team

**Author's Note:**

> First fic in a new fandom; hello RQG folks. I have just. So many feelings about Hamid and Azu hugging, especially in the current arc. So have this sad, soft, meandering little scene. 
> 
> Also, first fic in 4 months (exactly), yeehaw!

When Cel had said they had lots of space, what they meant was that they had lots of _rooms. _Enough for Azu and Hamid and Zolf to each have their own. Unfortunately, each room was also being used as storage, so Azu’s futon had been laid out between bags of what seemed to be rocks, and half of some kind of machine, and a sealed box that Cel had squinted at and said “yeah, that’s not _too _explosive, you’ll be fine!” 

Azu did not feel fine. 

The whole workshop felt one gesture away from coming down around her ears, so Azu did not gesture. The noises coming from Cel’s workshop were loud and irregular, and sometimes accompanied by loud zapping noises or exclamations that made Azu jump and had her reaching for her weapon before she realized what she was doing. It wasn’t Cel’s fault; if anything they had been unreasonably generous opening their home to strangers. It was Azu’s, and all she could do was lie awake in the darkness and will herself to be still. 

The more she thought about her surroundings, about the dangerous, cramped quarters, the more she felt the space pushing in around her, pressing so tight against her chest that it was difficult to breathe. She needed to get out, but it was too close to move, and even though she could see in the dark, she couldn’t trust herself not to stumble. 

_ I am not here, _ she told herself. _ I am not here, I am safe, I am... somewhere else. _

She closed her eyes, and _ s__omewhere else _ was the space between planes, was reality blurring and twisting and hurting, was time stretching out to impossible lengths, was the emptiness in her palm where a tiny goblin hand was supposed to be. _ Somewhere else _was where her friends were and Azu was not... 

She couldn’t breathe. _Oh__ Aphrodite _she couldn’t breathe. She fumbled for the chain around her neck, gripped tight to her replica of the Heart, gripped so tight she almost expected it to crumble in her hands. She had to breathe. She couldn’t breathe. She _could_ pray, mouth moving and, eventually, breath following as she whispered to her god. _“Please,”_ is what it boiled down to. _“Please let them be okay, please let Hamid be okay, please let everyone be okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”_

She felt something, a warmth from the Heart that loosened some of the tightness in her chest. A phantom hand on her cheek. Not enough to sleep, or even begin to relax, but just enough to ease the white noise of her panic so she could hear the shuffling outside her door, and then the whisper. 

“Azu?” It was Hamid, his voice wavering even as he tried to keep quiet. “Azu, are you awake?” 

“Yes,” Azu said, sitting up, one hand already on her axe. “What is it?” 

“C-can I come in?” 

“Of course.” 

The paper door slid open and Hamid slipped inside. He was still wearing his pajamas, and the blanket Cel had given him was wrapped around his shoulders. His Dancing Lights bobbed in behind him, bringing a dim green glow. He closed the door quietly, and Azu let the axe go. “Thank you,” Hamid murmured. 

“Has something gone wrong?” Azu asked. “In your room, with Cel’s machines?” 

“No.” Hamid swallowed. “Do you mind if I—If I stay here for a little bit? I know we just got out of that cage and you probably need your space but I can’t sleep, and I— oh!” 

He stopped talking as Azu leaned forward and swept him up into a hug, lifting him off the ground. “Of course you can stay,” she murmured. 

“Oh, thank you,” Hamid breathed, and wrapped all his limbs around her chest. 

He was warm and solid and smelled like the same perfume he always did, and he was _there, _and he was _safe._ Azu closed her eyes and thanked Aphrodite that she could be here with someone she loved. 

“You don’t know how much I wanted this,” Hamid said, words tumbling out in short breaths. “All week, when we were in the cage, I—I just wanted—but I _ couldn’t, _ not with Zolf and Wilde there _ watching _ the whole time, a-and I _ knew _I was going to start--” 

He was crying, suddenly, sobbing into Azu’s shoulder, his small body shaking with the force of it. Azu had wanted this too, to hold him tight, to ground herself in someone she trusted. The way he’d kept his distance, curled in the corners of the cell with his back to Azu, had hurt like a blow to her sternum. 

To be fair, she had not asked him for anything. She had assumed she could read Hamid’s body language, had determined that resigning herself to the small moments of contact that came from sharing a space was what she deserved. He had leaned against her sometimes, while she read, and had agreed to act as a weight for her workouts. In return, she had sat vigil between Hamid and the bars, ready to hurt anything that tried to touch him. 

It was not enough. 

But perhaps it was for the best. Here, now, Hamid was still crying and Azu was blinking back tears of her own, and it would have been very uncomfortable with Zolf watching. 

“I’m glad you’re here now,” she said gently. 

“Sorry,” he managed. “Sorry. I should have warned you or—” 

“It is okay,” Azu murmured. She could feel his heartbeat, impossibly quick, under her hand. 

“It’s not, though, is it?” 

It was not. “It is okay to cry,” Azu amended. 

Hamid sniffed in what might have been agreement. 

“It was so dark,” he said into her shoulder. “And then I turned on Dancing Lights and it was _ worse _, because all those shadows...” 

Azu’s eyes flicked to the dark corners of her own room. The boxes and mechanisms made strange shapes, and Hamid was right. It felt as though Sasha might be lurking in any of them, very stealthy, very hidden. Azu sucked in a breath. 

“I have been listening to the machines going in the laboratory,” Azu said. “The metal and the clattering.” The sounds could almost have been a goblin running around in plate mail and getting things done. 

Hamid sniffed again and nodded and his hands gripped tightly to Azu’s shirt. Azu thought vaguely that she would never let him go again. 

In the distance there was a large _ thud, _and Cel yelled something in Japanese. Then in English, “Sorry guys! It’s all good! Shouldn’t’ve yelled, I forgot you were sleeping there for a while!” 

Azu put down her axe. 

Hamid laughed weakly, and Azu allowed herself a small smile. “They are certainly an... eccentric host.” 

“Um, Azu?” 

“Yes?” 

“Could you, um... you’re holding really tight.” 

Hamid squirmed, and Azu realized that her grip on him had tightened at the sound. “Oh no. I am _ so _ sorry, I didn’t mean to--” She apologized several times over as she let him free, and privately reminded herself of her training, that halfling bones tended to be stronger than they looked. That Hamid was stronger than he looked. 

“It’s fine,” Hamid said, “it just got a bit uncomfortable, but I’d really like to--” he curled up against her chest and pulled her arm back into place. They fumbled for a few moments, as Azu kept holding her arm gingerly and Hamid kept insisting it would be fine, but finally they settled into a comfortable position. Hamid’s lights had gone out, so he recast the spell. Azu let her tension slowly release in the heat Hamid was giving off. 

At least she wasn’t crying anymore. It would be no good if they were both crying at once. Azu closed her eyes and imagined lifting her grief the way she’d lift a crate, straining under the weight of it, carrying it out of the way and setting it down firmly to be dealt with _ later. _She did the same for her guilt, for her fear, for those echoes of Hamid’s emotions blooming in her own heart. She could feel them later. Probably. Right now she had someone to care for. 

She opened her eyes to see Hamid staring blankly ahead, the room still secured, the shadows still empty. She felt very warm, as though moving her feelings had been a physical strain. It only took a moment before she realized the heat was actually coming from Hamid; he felt almost feverish. 

“Are you feeling alright?” she asked, realizing as she said it what a foolish question it was. “Are you sick, I mean?” 

“What? No, it’s just…” Hamid sighed. “It’s so _weird,_ you know? Having Zolf back. I always hoped I’d see him again, but...” 

“But he put us in a cage.” 

Hamid shook his head. “It’s not that. I mean, I _hated _it, but I understand why he had to do it. It’s just...” he sucked in a breath. “When Zolf left, Sasha and I, we—we had each other. We were there for each other. She _stayed_, and that’s _Sasha_.” 

Azu thought of Sasha disappearing on rooftops and into shadows, dragging her feet before the Heart of Aphrodite. Sasha was not the staying sort. 

“We had dinner,” Hamid said. 

“That sounds nice.” 

“It was. The food was really really--” he couldn’t finish the sentence. Azu waited as he took a deep breath and rubbed at his eyes and then, almost as an afterthought, cast Prestidigitation on himself. It was always unsettling to see tears or dirt or evidence of stress disappear off Hamid’s face, replaced by perfect eyeliner and a deep purple eyeshadow. 

He did rub his eyes again immediately after casting, though, and his makeup smeared. Azu said nothing. 

“I’ve lost so, _so _many people, Azu. A-and Zolf was... Zolf was the only one who _chose_ to go. And I _am _glad to see him, but it doesn’t seem fair that he’s back and Sasha’s--” 

_ Dead. _

“Gone,” Hamid finished weakly. “Is that terrible of me?” 

"No,” Azu said instinctively, even as she worried that Hamid was clinging to a hope that would only hurt him. “No, I believe that is one of many ways that grief works. It is perfectly natural.” 

“I don’t like feeling it,” Hamid said. “I want to be happy to see Zolf, but he’s been kind of awful and I don’t _ know _him anymore. And I don’t think he knows me.” 

“I don’t know him at all,” Azu said. “And I really, _ really _miss Sasha.” 

“She could’ve broken us out of that cell.” 

Azu’s heart ached. “I think that would have just put us in more trouble,” she murmured. 

Hamid almost laughed. “Maybe, yeah.” 

Azu shifted Hamid in her arms; he’d been getting hotter and hotter, and it was finally nearing uncomfortable. “But we need to work with Zolf. With all of them. We need to fix all of this.” 

Hamid was silent a moment. “I don’t… Azu, I don’t think that’s really possible? To fix everything?” 

Azu shook her head. She could not accept that, _ would not _ accept it. She was a paladin of Aphrodite. This was what she was _ for. _“Then we will fix what we can,” she insisted, because that’s how to fix everything. You fix what you can, and then you get better, and then you fix more. 

“I suppose,” Hamid agreed. “I will try, I mean.” 

“It’s what Grizzop would do,” Azu said. He and Azu may have had vastly different philosophies, but on this they could agree. She wished he was around to argue about the nuances now. 

Hamid whimpered. At the same moment, there was a flare of heat against Azu’s shoulder. 

She yelled. “Hamid, what is that?” Azu pulled him away from her body. Touching him now was suddenly like touching a hot stove. “You are _literally _burning,” 

“Am I?” Hamid began patting himself down as though looking for fire. “I don’t feel…” 

There were now two singed holes in the shoulder of Azu’s shirt, where Hamid’s hands had been pressed. Beneath them, Azu’s skin was tender, burned in the shape of two tiny hands. “This was _ definitely _you.” 

Hamid looked from the shirt back to his hands. “Oh dear.” 

Azu inspected her shoulder. “Don’t worry. I can heal myself.” 

“I’m so sorry, Azu, I really didn’t mean to.” 

It was not a severe burn; not enough to justify using a spell on, especially if she would get no sleep tonight. It did sting, though, and she knew better than to let a wound go untreated. Her gear was piled within reach of her futon, so she dug through it until she found one of her bags of holding, and then dug through that until she found a mundane healing kit that Einstein had gifted her. 

“Is that something else that happens because you are part dragon?” she asked. 

“That would make sense,” Hamid said, sounding guilty. “I’ve-- I’ve never done it before. Normally my hands just turn into claws, but I was really trying _ not _to do that...” 

“Hmm,” Azu said. “Are the dragon transformations connected to your emotions?” 

“I... I think so?” 

“Then maybe the heat is because you were feeling different emotions, or because you were trying to suppress your usual reactions.” Azu fumbled with a jar of salve; it had not been built for orcish hands, and she was having trouble with the tiny lid. 

“Yeah, maybe... Here, Azu, let me try.” He reached for the salve, but Azu didn’t hand it over. 

“Are you still burning?” 

“I don’t think so?” 

“Because I don’t want you to melt the jar shut.” 

“Oh. Yeah, that’s probably good... I’ve been trying to- to cool down, but I’m not sure if I can really control it?” 

Tentatively, Azu lifted a hand and poked Hamid in the shoulder. He still felt feverish, but not nearly hot enough to burn. “I think you are fine.” 

Hamid took the salve and, with some effort, managed to twist the jar off. He continued to hold the jar as Azu dipped a finger in and dabbed it on the burns. “Guess I’m just too hot to handle, now,” he said, giving Azu a watery smile. 

“No,” Azu said. “Never. We will just have to take precautions.” 

“Oh.” Hamid looked like he was going to start crying again. Instead, he fiddled with the jar as Azu finished tending to herself. 

“So,” Azu began, but she was interrupted. 

“HEY, STRANGERS IN MY HOUSE?” Cel yelled from the direction of the laboratory. “YOU MIGHT WANNA--” 

There followed a long, terrible screech that, if she didn’t know better, Azu would have believed to have come from a terrifying creature. It faded into silence, and then Cel called again. “False alarm, it’s all good! You know, in some ways, that's _ exactly _ what was supposed to happen! Go back to sleep!” 

Hamid took his hands off his ears. “Oh _ dear, _" he said. 

“Well,” said Azu, retracting her arm from where she had flung it to shield Hamid from whatever might have been coming. “At least we weren’t asleep.” 

Hamid nodded. “I wonder if Zolf is alright.” 

“He seems very tough.” 

“Yeah...” 

They contemplated Zolf’s toughness in silence. Azu put the healing kit back in the bag of holding. 

“I could mend your shirt,” Hamid said. “I- I know how to sew...” he trailed off into a wide yawn. Azu could not see any sharp, dragon teeth in his mouth. 

“Perhaps tomorrow,” she said. “Cel might be right. We should try to sleep.” 

“I suppose.” Hamid pulled the blanket around his shoulders. “Would, um, would you mind if I stayed, just in the room with you? I’m sure cuddling is out of the question but--” 

“Cuddling is _ never _out of the question,” Azu said, swooping Hamid into her arms. 

“B-but I might burn you again.” 

“And I might crush you by hugging too hard,” Azu pointed out. “But I don’t think either of us will get much sleep on our own.” 

Hamid did not argue. 

Thankfully, he had cooled down to a warm but manageable temperature. There was always the danger he would flare up again, but of all the things Azu was afraid of, Hamid could not be one of them. She held him tight, mindful of the burned skin, and lay down. Hamid's entire body fit atop her torso, and after a few moments of squirming, he settled in and sighed comfortably. 

Azu draped Hamid's blanket over both of them and curled an arm around Hamid’s back. She sighed into his hair, and Hamid let his spell go out. The room was dark, and it was still cramped, but the space could not press tight against Azu’s chest because Hamid was there, curled up almost protectively. 

“Good night, Azu,” Hamid murmured sleepily. 

“Good night, Hamid,” Azu said. Her breaths came slow and easy under Hamid’s weight. “Sweet dreams.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I’d love to know what you thought! 
> 
> You can find me here, on tumblr as dwarven-beard-spores, twitter as @beardspores, and dreamwidth (theoretically) as DwarvenBeardSpores.


End file.
